Physician Profiling

It may be politically incorrect to profile people or people groups, but we know that we all do it. Not only do doctors profile their patients (as much as we try not to), we also profile each other. When you get into the medical field it doesn't take long to learn that each medical specialty has a reputation. This reputation is well known and generally well established. Although some of the stereotypes are derogatory, I would say for the most part we really do appreciate all of the specialties and their areas of expertise. We are like a family: we will pick on each other and talk about each other behind their backs, but if anyone outside of our medical family (e.g. the lawyer bully on the playground) shoves one of us down, we will stand up to defend one of our own. So, I thought I'd introduce you to our family...

Family Medicine is the little brother that everyone dumps on but I think is secretly admired. Because they can do everything, it is assumed that they are experts at nothing. It is no secret that they get picked on the most by the other members of the family, yet even so, they are known to be friendly, approachable, and great teachers.

Internal Medicine is the nerdy one. Anal. When you can't figure something out, call them or one of their specialist cousins. They'll order a thousand tests you've never heard of to diagnose the 6th case ever in the world of some rare disease that you likely can't even treat.

General Surgery is the knife-happy, party-loving, adrenaline-seeking, abrasive, older brother. Their answer to any problem is: "cut it out."

Radiology is the shy, smart one. Sometimes they are likened to bats or vampires because they sit in their dark cave all day long reading CT scans and X-rays and have very little human-to-human interaction. They are also notorious for being good golfers - got to love 9-to-5 with no weekends or holidays.

ER is the rebellious, wild twin brother of Family Medicine. They, too, tend to be criticized by the other specialties for either ordering too many or not enough tests when patients come into the hospital. However, they have the thrill-seeking side of the surgeons because they flock to a good trauma case like flies on poop.

Psychiatry is, like their patients, crazy. But no one can really blame them. We are just happy we don't have their job.

Pediatrics is the sweet, nurturing, older sister - always smiling and reminding you of the brighter side. Do you want a sticker?

Ob/Gyn is the Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. Slightly creepy on one hand (they seriously stare at vaginas for a living), yet so pure and innocent on the other (welcoming babies into the world). They also have the widest range of individual personalities of any speciality. One Ob doc could be the nicest person you'd ever meet and the next you wouldn't let deliver the baby of your worst enemy.

Anesthesia is the lazy one. You can't go long in the medical community before you'll hear a joke about the anesthesiologist falling asleep during a surgery (which I will not confirm nor deny).