First Days

One of the difficult and frustrating things about residency, and even med school, is starting a new month. Imagine starting a new job with new co-workers, a new boss, a new schedule, a new system, and new expectations every single month. Going to sleep on the 30th or 31st of the month is always a little more difficult because my mind is racing with thoughts of what tomorrow will bring. Before I fall asleep, I say a little prayer that my alarm clock will go off at the new time for which it's set. It rings extra early on the first of the month, and I put in extra effort to get ready. The first day of rounds we walk around in silence as we feel out the new attending and their sense of humor. After rounds, I waste most of my time being inefficient because I haven't learned the shortcuts through the hospital, or where to find the medication lists, or how to call to find results, or this, or that. Everyone knows how "first days" go. A week or two into the month things settle in. I enjoy it for about a week. About then it's almost the end of the month, and I prepare to go through it all again.

August 31st was my last day at Children's hospital, and September 1st was my first day back at UNMC. I went from taking care of kids to adults. From infections of the ears to infections of the lungs. From diabetes type I to type II. From diapers to catheters. From one past medical problem to twenty. From no home medications to thirty (of which they actually only take ten, five as prescribed). From a two day hospital stay to a two week hospital stay. From CPS to APS. From tripping over toys in the morning to stubbing my toe on a walker. From hearing crystal clear heart and lungs, to struggling to hear anything through inches of "soft tissue".

It was more difficult to transition than I had anticipated. Even though I've done inpatient adult medicine several times before, as I sat down at the chart of my first patient early on Wednesday morning, I was suddenly overwhelmed. As much of a challenge as Children's was, in that moment I wanted to go back and find the confidence that I must have left there somewhere in the resident's lounge.

Thankfully, that moment passed, and after one night of call, my feet are back under me. There is still a lot of adjusting and learning left to do, but I'm ready for it now. I even think I can say: "I'm glad to be back."